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10/26/2015

Life in Living Purple

11 Comments

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239...36...239 times in 36 years. In my 36 years of life, I've survived 239 domestic violence situations. I've been beat on, spit on, threaten and called out of my name 236 times by men that claimed to love me. With every verbal and physical blow I experienced, a piece of me died. My self-worth dead. My love for life dead. My hope for humanity dead. I was so dead inside that when God gave me the vision for NATAI GIRL in 2006, I didn't feel worthy to carry it out; ultimately, I sat on the vision for seven years while God healed my heart. I'll be lying if I said that I didn't have moments of regret, but I know that my testimony will help someone else one day. I'll never be the Archita I was prior to the abuse. I can never again be the woman that accepts love with an iron fist. I can never again be the Archita that justifies the behavior of an abuser simply because he says he loves me. A piece me died with every blow and it's taken a long time fill those dead spaces, but with God's help I have.

Believe it or not, I experienced my first abusive situation in Kindergarten; however, it wasn't considered abuse then because supposedly "that's how boys showed they liked you". Can you believe it?! They show you that they like you by pulling your hair or pushing you to the ground. This is a lie that continues to be told to today's youth and it has to stop! We must teach our young men to treat girls with respect. We must teach them that hitting and hurting someone you love is never okay. We must teach our young women that their worth isn't contingent upon the man in their life. We must teach them that abuse of any kind is NEVER okay. We must teach them the difference between a man being attentive and a man being possessive. There's a huge difference!!! We must teach our children and it starts at home. If children are witnessing violence in the home, they are more susceptible to that type of behavior. It would be easy for them to become abusers because that's the example that's been set. It would be easy for them to become victims because that's the example that's been set.

I know a young lady who was in an abusive relationship for a several years. She thought it was cute when he would pop-up at a place that she was at. She thought it was cute when he would tell her what not to wear and act jealous when she was around other guys. She thought it was cute until he beat her for not informing him of her whereabouts. His attention wasn't cute to her anymore, but she wouldn't leave him. She thought that her love could change her boyfriend. She believed that if she loved him harder, he would stop hitting her. She made excuses for her boyfriend because he claimed to love her. Unfortunately for her, he loved her to death one day. I share this story because I use to date the abuser and but for the grace of God, I could have been the one he killed.

During the month of October, many celebrate the fall weather and others look forward to state fairs and festivals. NATAI GIRL, on the other hand, will be focusing on Breast Cancer Awareness and Domestic Violence this month. On October 31st, NATAI GIRL will meet for our monthly Book & Tea at the Trade Street Café in Hope Mills. The girls will arrive dressed in pink & purple attire with smiles on their faces. My hope is that when they leave the Book & Tea they'll understand why we asked them to wear pink & purple. My hope is that they'll understand the importance of breast cancer early detection and what their role is. My hope is that when asked "what would you do if the man you love hits you", their response will not be "I'll stay because he loves me".

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11 Comments
Lucinda
10/26/2015 09:07:46 pm

There is so much honesty and truth in this post!

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Archita
10/27/2015 10:37:44 pm

Thank you

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Yvonne
10/27/2015 12:09:49 pm

To God be the glory! Again amazed by your ability to share with others in spite of. I'm so proud of you . We overcome by the words of our testimony. You are definitely an overcome. The best is yet to come. I love you. God bless

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Archita
10/27/2015 10:32:42 pm

Thank you for the making it easier to sit in my truth. ❤️

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Natasha Phillips
10/27/2015 02:01:44 pm

Very touching and needed. Let God continue to use you.

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Archita
10/27/2015 10:38:25 pm

I'm going to try :)

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Marcus
10/27/2015 03:39:44 pm

Archita, your testimony is so powerful I'm almost speechless. Your story has me in awe, and my heart goes out to you, and the millions of other women out there you've impacted by sharing your story. I am very proud, and admire you for turning these negatives, meant to brake you into positives that have constructed the foundation of the powerful woman you are today. You display not only the courage, and fight within you, but the power of God. I believe your organization is outstanding, any man who beats women is a coward, and disgrace us all who are trying to be good men; good husbands, good examples for our sons & daughters to follow. My heart & prayers go out to you in the restoration & healing of your mind, body, & spirit as well as the rest of the women this has touched in the world. God bless you.

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Archita
10/27/2015 10:37:13 pm

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Shareese link
10/29/2015 11:10:58 pm

I am in such admiration! To go through so much and stand in your truth as an inspiration to us all is so amazing. Keep on cuzzo 👏🏾🙌🏾✊🏾

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Archita
11/15/2015 11:58:06 pm

❤️❤️❤️❤️💜

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Billie C. link
11/26/2015 07:31:51 am

Thank You for being honest and transparent. Thank you for saying what many won't abuse in any form is never acceptable. We focus so much on teaching our girls to be submissive, obedient, respectable young women; yet it seems many of our boys fall through the the cracks. I have witness first hand what does NATAI and I applaud you. The changes in these young women's lives will be everlasting. Blessings

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    Archita Graves is a wife, mother, U.S. Army veteran, and the founder of NATAI GIRL. She holds a Masters in Social Work and resides in North Carolina with her family.

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  • Home
  • About Us
    • Vision & History
    • Programs
  • Join NATAI GIRL
    • Volunteer Opportunities
  • Donate
  • Upcoming Events
  • Blog
  • Gallery
    • Book & Tea
    • International Civil Rights Museum Visit
    • 2nd Annual Purple Gala
    • Inaugural Purple Gala
  • Contact Us