239...36...239 times in 36 years. In my 36 years of life, I've survived 239 domestic violence situations. I've been beat on, spit on, threaten and called out of my name 236 times by men that claimed to love me. With every verbal and physical blow I experienced, a piece of me died. My self-worth dead. My love for life dead. My hope for humanity dead. I was so dead inside that when God gave me the vision for NATAI GIRL in 2006, I didn't feel worthy to carry it out; ultimately, I sat on the vision for seven years while God healed my heart. I'll be lying if I said that I didn't have moments of regret, but I know that my testimony will help someone else one day. I'll never be the Archita I was prior to the abuse. I can never again be the woman that accepts love with an iron fist. I can never again be the Archita that justifies the behavior of an abuser simply because he says he loves me. A piece me died with every blow and it's taken a long time fill those dead spaces, but with God's help I have.
Believe it or not, I experienced my first abusive situation in Kindergarten; however, it wasn't considered abuse then because supposedly "that's how boys showed they liked you". Can you believe it?! They show you that they like you by pulling your hair or pushing you to the ground. This is a lie that continues to be told to today's youth and it has to stop! We must teach our young men to treat girls with respect. We must teach them that hitting and hurting someone you love is never okay. We must teach our young women that their worth isn't contingent upon the man in their life. We must teach them that abuse of any kind is NEVER okay. We must teach them the difference between a man being attentive and a man being possessive. There's a huge difference!!! We must teach our children and it starts at home. If children are witnessing violence in the home, they are more susceptible to that type of behavior. It would be easy for them to become abusers because that's the example that's been set. It would be easy for them to become victims because that's the example that's been set.
I know a young lady who was in an abusive relationship for a several years. She thought it was cute when he would pop-up at a place that she was at. She thought it was cute when he would tell her what not to wear and act jealous when she was around other guys. She thought it was cute until he beat her for not informing him of her whereabouts. His attention wasn't cute to her anymore, but she wouldn't leave him. She thought that her love could change her boyfriend. She believed that if she loved him harder, he would stop hitting her. She made excuses for her boyfriend because he claimed to love her. Unfortunately for her, he loved her to death one day. I share this story because I use to date the abuser and but for the grace of God, I could have been the one he killed.
During the month of October, many celebrate the fall weather and others look forward to state fairs and festivals. NATAI GIRL, on the other hand, will be focusing on Breast Cancer Awareness and Domestic Violence this month. On October 31st, NATAI GIRL will meet for our monthly Book & Tea at the Trade Street Café in Hope Mills. The girls will arrive dressed in pink & purple attire with smiles on their faces. My hope is that when they leave the Book & Tea they'll understand why we asked them to wear pink & purple. My hope is that they'll understand the importance of breast cancer early detection and what their role is. My hope is that when asked "what would you do if the man you love hits you", their response will not be "I'll stay because he loves me".
Believe it or not, I experienced my first abusive situation in Kindergarten; however, it wasn't considered abuse then because supposedly "that's how boys showed they liked you". Can you believe it?! They show you that they like you by pulling your hair or pushing you to the ground. This is a lie that continues to be told to today's youth and it has to stop! We must teach our young men to treat girls with respect. We must teach them that hitting and hurting someone you love is never okay. We must teach our young women that their worth isn't contingent upon the man in their life. We must teach them that abuse of any kind is NEVER okay. We must teach them the difference between a man being attentive and a man being possessive. There's a huge difference!!! We must teach our children and it starts at home. If children are witnessing violence in the home, they are more susceptible to that type of behavior. It would be easy for them to become abusers because that's the example that's been set. It would be easy for them to become victims because that's the example that's been set.
I know a young lady who was in an abusive relationship for a several years. She thought it was cute when he would pop-up at a place that she was at. She thought it was cute when he would tell her what not to wear and act jealous when she was around other guys. She thought it was cute until he beat her for not informing him of her whereabouts. His attention wasn't cute to her anymore, but she wouldn't leave him. She thought that her love could change her boyfriend. She believed that if she loved him harder, he would stop hitting her. She made excuses for her boyfriend because he claimed to love her. Unfortunately for her, he loved her to death one day. I share this story because I use to date the abuser and but for the grace of God, I could have been the one he killed.
During the month of October, many celebrate the fall weather and others look forward to state fairs and festivals. NATAI GIRL, on the other hand, will be focusing on Breast Cancer Awareness and Domestic Violence this month. On October 31st, NATAI GIRL will meet for our monthly Book & Tea at the Trade Street Café in Hope Mills. The girls will arrive dressed in pink & purple attire with smiles on their faces. My hope is that when they leave the Book & Tea they'll understand why we asked them to wear pink & purple. My hope is that they'll understand the importance of breast cancer early detection and what their role is. My hope is that when asked "what would you do if the man you love hits you", their response will not be "I'll stay because he loves me".
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